Let me preface with a warning.  This blog post is deeply personal.  I held nothing back, so please read with understanding.  It’s hard to put into words what it felt like to go to my first AIS/DSD conference, so bear with me as I try to articulate my state of mind going into this. In order to really make you understand what it was like for me, you need to know my story.  Let me go back, if I may, 16 years.In 1998, I got sick.  I lost weight, I couldn’t keep food down, I was miserable. I was taken to the doctor, where a CT scan was done. As it turned out, I had a stomach parasite.  Easy enough to fix, but they also discovered a mass in my lower abdomen.  The doctor asked my mom if I had begun menses.  I hadn’t.  It was my secret.  I used to carry tampons in my bag in case I got it, and so I could give them away if another girl needed one.  Deep down I guess I knew I was different.  After the stomach parasite was cleared up, I was taken to an OBGYN.

I waited in the lobby, legs clinched together tight, knowing what was coming.  I had never had anyone looking at my lady bits up close.  I was mortified at the idea, and even more mortified at the idea that something could be wrong with me. The time went by so slowly.  I sat in the old musty waiting room of the Talihina Indian Hospital counting the perforations in the ceiling tiles. Anything to take my mind far away from that place.   I don’t remember every detail about the appointment, but I do remember what they did to me and the overarching theme of what they seemed to think was a valid diagnosis.  I was taken into a small exam room.  It was painted a light blue color with diagrams of reproductive organs posted on the walls.  Oddly, the most vivid detail I remember was…